| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2005|03:58 pm] |
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well alot has happend my computer died.. lol i went camping for a week im in summer school now for 4 weeks mark dumped me i was really upset for a few days but im ok now :) summer schoool is acually fun .. lol i met lots of new ppl and tons of hot guyz yay lol well dats bout it o wait n marks a homewreckin cheating basterd.. lol i hate him to :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2005|07:40 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  i just woke up | ] |
i havent updated in a while but nothin interesting has really happend its all da same... im happy wen im not home wen im home things suck ass.. the end lol yesterday went to da mall wit sarah, same and katie we had fun... i finally payed off my warped tour ticket so im officialy going for sure.. YAY:) ugh... mark was over the other day i love being with him :) i love him.. alot n im happy. on monday my dads friend from australia came over (they are on vacation) and their son slept over... man australians are odd.. i love their accents.. lol and he slept over n we watched maury n jerry springer lol it was funny and i have had exams n stuff.. other then that nothin big happend, cya
stef
xoxo |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2005|07:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
At some point you have to realize ..
HE D0ESN'T CARE
& you could be missing out on someone that does
that is a good quote :) n very true
im starting to remember what it is like to be happy... i dont care what my parents say or do anymore im gunan do what ever the fuck i want n thats that... n i had a great time last night that now i remember what it is like to be happy again and i think mark was shocked but maybe he likes the happy me to.. :)later
sundays suck... they are boring all i did was sit around n draw...
stef xoxo |
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| feelin jolly |
[Jun. 11th, 2005|11:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
today i had a surprisingly good day :) my parents let me stay home n go to sarahs party we had a blast we went swimmin in are clothes lol in her green pool and i was wet da whole night which sucked but i had fun :) except i think i scared mark cuz he isnt use to me being crazy n loud cuz usually we are with his friends not mine wen im around him one on one im alot quieter then i am with my friends i love him :) alot.. he makes me happy :) yay lol happy is good considering have been really down these dayz... ew i smell like wet dog, chlorine and smoke... i got to roast weanies in a bon fire.. fun!!:) lol well anywho thats that for today later
stef
xoxo |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2005|03:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
i feel like i have no purpose... i wish i could just dissapear n that be that.. i cant stand being here once again... they hate the way i dress and look they think im stupid even tho for once im doing pretty good in school.. they talk shit bout my friends they hate most of them meanwhile most of my friends are amazing people they critisize everything that comes out of my mouth...so i get told im stupid of a bitch n other things, my brother is superior comparin to me only if they knew what he has done in the past n still does today but i decide to be the nicer one and keep my mouth shut cuz id excpect him to do the same for me but he doesnt.. fuckin rat.. i try to do things right but i cant take the critisizem (dont know how to spell) anymore.. it just makes me angrier and a more n more angry person and its commin to the point where i just wanna sit in my room stair at da wall once again n play my guitar n im kinda scared that things will get back to the point again where i just wanna die...:( i guess the only thing that keeps me goin other then most of my friends is mark...i love him...
today was just another boring day at school n another miserable day at home...lata
stef
xoxo |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 6th, 2005|10:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | crushed | ] |
today i was super tired cuz last night i got home from the wedding at two so i was dead today but i was ok after a while n i was havin a great day i had fun in science had fun in art got to skip history to paint n then went to civics.. n did nothing lol n then i went to kristins we had some fun n then we went to her soccer practise i just say around n talked to amandas dad the whole time cuz my bf didnt come :( meanie.. lol but its ok cuz he couldnt n then i got home.. n then my day just went downhill... i honestly hate commin home.. its the worst thing that happens everyday soon as i get home i get bitched at for no good reason.. it sucks when everything u do or say is wrong to ur parents and that they think ur not trying and when you really are and you think that u did or said was right but they dont think so, so they just yell at you and tell you how stupid u r.. parents really suck sometimes..
im really confused now... dont u hate it wen u think someone loves u and u love them n u phone them all the time cuz u dont get to see them that day n u miss them n u just wanna talk to them n hear their voice n then they have to go or they cant talk cuz somethins up so they promise to phone u or they tell u that they will call u for sure n then they dont.. n then u think does that person really like me? am i annoying them wen im on the phone talkin to them? do they wanna talk to me? do they love me like they say they do? argh.. i honestly dont understand but it makes me feel like shat.. :( considering the person use to phone u all the time n talk to u but they just dont anymore.. is it cuz im not pretty is it cuz im not wanted or they just dont love me...sigh... we will never know i guess
dats enough i guess nothin else really happend later...
stef
xoxo |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2005|01:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | mellow | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | gasoline-audioslave | ] |
i had so much fun last night first i went to the moofies wit marky we went n saw madagascar (i feel bad for him lol i dont think he wanted to see it but i wanted to so he saw it with me) n sarah reminds me of the giraffe in da moofie shes just like him lol i loved it n then i went to hayleys house we had a bomb fire it was alot of fun :) n then we saw another party going on across the field so me sarah n hayley walked/ran/pretended to be deer across the field to the other party lol it was funny n then we went back n then we went for a walk n they almost made me go into a cemetary im not scared of them during the day but they scare me at night n stuff i just have a thing bout death n cemetaries n i really didnt wanan go in it especially cuz the past two months i have lost two friends n yea wasnt up to goin threw so they didnt make me :) lol yay lol n yea thats bout it last night was fun:) later
stef
xoxo |
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| sigh... |
[Jun. 2nd, 2005|07:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | chipper | ] |
i have been kinda down these dayz but im tryin hard to keep my spirits high but i think ill b ok.. nothing much has really happend i hung out wit mark yesterday n i found out somethin really funny man i hate simone :) lol this is halarious.. at least i think it is.. she found the link to my livejournal (i dunno why she would even wanna look for it or read it in da first place but anywho!) yea shes pissed off at me lmao because i hate her .. like honestly how stupid is that... who the hell gets pissed at someone because the person doesnt like them holy shit wht does she excpect ? :S me to like her... yea fuckin right.. lol god!!! well anywho i had laugh bout that.. ugh wht else happend...ryans funeral n viewing was at da beggining of da weekend it was horribly sad everyone was sad at school n still is we all feel horrible for brent n his family... i hope he knows we all love him n cant wait to see him back we all miss him. thats bout it later
stef
xoxo |
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| RIP ryan bartley |
[May. 28th, 2005|10:50 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
Wednesday i hung out with andrew and danielle n steve n tom n ray n brendan n britney n we had a blast but then mark got extremley pissed cuz he saw me n andrew walkin to tims alone :( its not our fault we were hungry n one else wanted to go god! but o well me n mark are A ok now :) n i love him n then thursday i was with mark n his friends n then yesterday was the worst ever... first i missed the bus then they found ryan bartley :( and he was dead...it was the horriblest sadest thing ever honestly school felt so empty.. it was brutal to have to see all of my friends in tears.. i tried to keep it in but i couldnt like most ppl :( i had to get excused from class a few times to let it out it sucked :( n then after school i hung out wit ashley n sarah n hayley n danielle we chilled at da skate park then we got rained on... lol man it was funny but yea other then that nothing good happend so later
stef
xoxo |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2005|09:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | my own summer (shove it) - deftones | ] |
well.. on friday i got my G1!!!!:) alot of ppl thought i was gunna fail but guess what i didnt on the FIRST try ! n then on saturday i went to wonderland i had alot of fun except the right side of my body is sun burnt n i look like a retard cuz half of me is red n the other is norma lmao it kinda sucked cuz the lines were sooo fricken massive :( but i still had fun except in line for jet scream cuz my bfs ex gf was right beside us n i didnt care until eric started being a dick but o well lol i hate her :) even tho i dont really kno her.. how bad does that sound lol prety damn bad but o well n then on sunday i had to be a god mother for my cousins baby it was fun i had a good time except it was tiring n then this morning i went drivign with my dad now i can see im a leathal weapon on the road.. lol haha man i suck n today im chillin wit a bunch of friends n i hope i get to see mark cuz i miss him waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much :( but ill see him soon i hope well htat is all for now later
stef
xoxo |
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| ... |
[May. 18th, 2005|07:36 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | mae-summertime | ] |
things in my life were finally getting better.. things were clearer.. things at home werent as bad and i wasnt finding myself sitting in my room alone doing nothing...but these passed few dayz things have been gettin bad at home :(.. n now im just all like why am i here.. why am i still alive...do i deserve this.. wht did i do... is there something wrong with me... or is it just cuz they dont want me here... everything i seem to do is wrong n i hate it.. the only thing right now that im happy bout is most of my friends n mark if it werent for them i probly wouldnt be here right now i love u guyz! :( welll i guess thats that cuz last night was pretty shitt :(... thats all i have to say bout that the only good thing that happend was that my fundraising money finally went threw:) only $600 to go... sigh... well i guess thats all c ya!
stef
xoxo |
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| wow |
[May. 14th, 2005|11:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | mudvayne-happy | ] |
well things have been pretty good same old has been happenin hangin out wit friends n mark today mark picked me a flower it was so cute :) i love him lol nothin huge has really happend...yea.. thats all see ya
stef
xoxo |
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| chillin like a miserable villin |
[May. 6th, 2005|08:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | bob marley-jammin | ] |
wow i havent wrote in here in a while well.. im chilling wit hayley we are quite bored there clearly is nothing to do in the big town of kesrock... man i kinda feel like mark is pulling away from me n its scary cuz i love him lots n i know it sounds wierd n stuff cuz of all the shit that happend in the past but im so over that but i dunno i just feel wierd i miss him alot n i just feel like he doesnt feel the same bout me anymore argh :( i dunno it sux tho n im pretty bummed bout it but i guess i just gotta talk to him n hope for da best or just chill with him really soon like..now! lol but anywho nuthing major has happend these dayz but the other day i was really bummed out supoasbly its my fault my mom is sick now because i have been "stressing" her out so now i feel like nothin but shit even tho i kno its not my fault but w.e n then the other night sarah was over n i was really upset bout mark my parents n stuff like dat so her parents took me and sarah n her brother n her brothers friends to da movies in newmarket at 10:30 at night lol n we got home at 1:30 we had fun tho except i was super tired for school today but o well it was worth it! but anywho i guess that is all for now
stefxoxo |
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| ew.. |
[Apr. 24th, 2005|05:53 pm] |
on friday was stevens funeral i didnt end up going cuz i got into a fight wit my mom n if i were to go id have to go wit her so i decided not to go but i heard it was horribly sad :( sigh.. poor kid.. well anywho then on friday i chilled wit mark and hayley and amanda n we went to da moofies n then me n hayely n marky went to da skate park n chilled wit becca, monique and brittany and a bunch of other people we had a alot of fun mark made me watch hockey :( but o well lol then saturday i went to nikis house cuz it was her b day and it was a slepe over party lol yay n then then sunday we went to da mall n stuff i had a fun weekend till 6 min ago cuz i feel like pukin cuz i was eatin shrimp n then she made me eat a piece of banana after n now i feel sick... fun eh lol ew... grose never eat shrimp n bananas well i guess that is all
stef
xoxo |
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| RIP STEVEN |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|04:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
This entry is quite different...
R.I.P. Steve Marshall...
On april 18th Steven Marshall, a boy that lived in beaverton passed away.. about 4 weeks ago he was out riding his bike a thing he loved to do and his handle bars went into his stomach causing his spleen to break in half he got sent to sick childrens hospital where they tried to save his spleen n they put it all back together he was in the hospital for a 2 and half weeks n they had to send him home because they needed the bed he was in meanwhile he could not even walk to the bathroom by himself cuz of his injury. he was on strict rules bout wht he can do and wht he can not do until his spleen heald.. yesterday monday april 18th was stevens first day back to school steven was found last night on a road..dead.. he was walkin home all by himself so no one saw or knew wht happend but he had a seager (how eva its spelt) steven was only 15 years old he didnt get to expierience graduating from high school, he didnt get to grow old, he cant enjoy riding his bike, he cant hang out wit his friends and many other great things in life :( he left his family and little sister and many friends that loved him very much :( and will be greatly missed but maybe if the hospital kept him longer he would have been ok but i dunno :( but i kno i will miss him very much and so will many other people.. rest in peace steve we all love u :(
stef xoxo |
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| April 16th... kristins b day party |
[Apr. 17th, 2005|09:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | blank | ] |
last night was kristins sweet 16th party wit just a few of her best friends lol it was quite interestin... i showed up a kristins house at 7:30 wit my laundry basket n then me kristin her mom n dad n sister went out for breakfast n then shoppin fun fun fun and then her other friends came over n we decided to get drinkin her neighbour is a frickin god i love him lol hes an old guy that likes to see teenagers drinkin i guess he supplied booze for us n we decided to go drink beer at da pond n me n jerrine sank in the mudd past are ankles my fav pants got muddy.. i was sad so then we went n got washed up we made tye dye water lol ugh...then we wwere gunna go climb the water tower but we got hungry n went back n layed on the drive till da pizza chick got there n then we hung around a bomb fire watch ppl pull their pants down and run around... cough cough kristin.. ugh we went a search for beer then after while 4 out of the 6 ppl were drunk then kristins mom called us in.. i guess she knew i was drunk i ran into her bird cage n tripped over kristins bed wen i was in da house lol god.. n then we decided to watch a moofie we didnt feel like watchin it anymore so the odd 4 decided to go sit on the roof lol that was fun but then we got cold so we decided to sleep on kristins little bed.. all four of us n all four of us passed out quite fast n jerrines toe kept goin in my ear... gr.. lol yea.. thats just about it we had a blast! |
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| kugtyfgkvjl |
[Apr. 17th, 2005|02:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | mudvayne-happy | ] |
wednesday was the day of silence i didnt talk all day :) yay... thursday all i did was homework friday i chilled wit amanda n then saturday i was at kristins all day we had alot of fun n then here i am today im depressed i dont really understand why but i miss marky as usual i still miss the way my life use to be wen i use to be all happy n stuff argh! well i guess thats good for nwo c ya
stef |
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| man... |
[Apr. 11th, 2005|06:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
saturday was pretty bomb i hung out wit my wigger all weekend i had a blast :) i love hangin out wit him but then i got mud on my ass n boob n mark didnt tell me so i wasnt to happy bout that so i put snow in his shirt n then it went in his pant hahaha :P im good well anywho! sunday i had ppl over all day we had fun n today! monday was pretty shitty i feel like poo school was boring im just not to happy at hoem n yea... im miserable n then ihad to go to an allergy/asthma test... not fun... well dats it bye bye
stef
xoxox |
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| grrrr i hate this |
[Apr. 8th, 2005|05:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
well my life officaly sux ass my parents are ass holes because of them i cant be wit my friends i cant be a teenager i cant be wit mark n i just have had enough of their bullshit i just want out of here!!! fuck! all i wanna do is just scream it out of me n just fuckin get shot :( i hate the fact that constently all i think bout now is how much my life sux and how much i want out of it and how much i want to just die i hate the fact that i dont even remember what its really like to be happy i miss being happy like i use to be now im just depressed and miserable... i only talk bout it with a few ppl but i just say it all here i honestly could say that if i had the guts to go pull out a shot gun n shoot myself i probably would... but im a wussy.. n im just so annoyed with ppl not being real with me not being honest fuck i wish people would just say the truth :( and i feel shitty cuz a kid in my school hung himself n died and my friends dad passed away due to cancer but no the school never said anything because the pope is fuckin to important meanwhile none of us have ever met him n stuff but the people that we acually no arent as important then him that frickin discusts :( and im fustrated with the cancer thing im in if u wanna donate go here ----------------> http://to05.endcancer.ca/site/TR?pg=personal&fr_id=1000&px=1248545 and i need a job so then i can just leave this fuckin house n just go be happy i feel kinda loved cuz the ppl i talked bout it acually offered me to stay wit them n werent jokin... i think :s man.. i guess thats enough of this.. w.e this is.. .
bye
stef
xoxo |
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| grrrr |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|08:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Death of Seasons-AFI | ] |
argh today was goin all good until i came home still goin shitty at home its comin to da point i want to just leave n run away from my problems and then i had guitar it went ok i have to write a song i did i like writin songs but i dont write any that i can share wit ppl they are all realy personal n i dont want to share cuz then im scared of what ppl will say or think i dont know wht to do :( n i dont want ppl to think im fucked up even more then they already do argh help! well anywho i guess dats it lata skata
stef |
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